A Lunch for a Life

Last Thursday when we were eating our amazing Indian dinner at the guest house where we are staying, I started thinking about the thousands of people around me that are lucky if they get one meal a day. I felt as though I was being convicted, convicted of eating too much. Why should I eat three meals a day as I watch people around me starving to death. I felt as though I was being called to give up one meal a day to someone else who needs it a whole lot more than I do. After all, what is mine, isn't really mine, it belongs to him, the one who gave it to me in the first place. And those begging on the streets are his children just as much as I am is daughter. I do not say this to bring glory to myself, trust me, I am not capable of obtaining this mindset. All glory goes to the only one worthy of all the glory, honor, and praise.

On Monday my team and I went to a restaurant on our lunch break. I had to tell my team about what I have been called to do, so that they could hold me accountable. So as they ate, I sat there drinking my water and looking outside the window at this little 7 or 8 year old boy begging for some food. After the meal, I got all the leftovers together and took it outside to him. We asked his name, we'll call him John. John didn't respond too much to what we were saying even though they were simple questions in Hindi. He wanted money and we told him we didn't have any to give him but that we had food for him. So we gave him food and walked in different directions. He kept looking back at us and smiling and when he saw us look at him he got a huge smile on his face and waved really big. I think he was surprised and excited just at the fact that we wanted to talk to him.

One Thursday, we ran into John again on our way to lunch, only this time he had a picture of Luxshmie (the god of prosperity and money) around his neck. As we sat down to lunch we talked about the situation and what to do. If we give him food, he will go and pray and give praise to Luxshmie. The team asked me what I was thinking as I sat there quietly. I was originally planning on giving my portion of the meal after they all ate, but I didn't want him to turn to praise Luxshmie because of it. So I told them, I wanted to take off his picture from around his neck and bring him inside to eat. Our friend Will who was eating with us asked me what I wanted to say to him, I said that I want to tell John that Someone loves him and can and will give him all that he will ever want and need, and that Luxshmie cannot, nor will he ever give him what he needs. Luxshmie doesn't know who he is, he doesn't love him or care about him, but Someone does and and will provide for him. But that he has to leave Luxshmie behind. So with a little encouragement, I went outside, and called him over to me. He looked at a guy on a motorcycle, then at me, back at the man, then at me again and then walked over to me. I invited him in, but motioned for him to leave Luxshmie at the door before he came in. He looked at the man on the motorcycle and after confirmation, continued to walk inside with me. We have to leave our idols and at the door in order to come in and enjoy the banquet prepared for us.

Once inside, Will gave John his lime soda and we tried to talk to him with what little Hindi we know. He said he didn't know how old he was, or if he had any family. He doesn't have any brothers or sisters that he knows of and he doesn't know his parents or grandparents. If you have ever seen the movie Slum Dog Millionaire, I dread that that might be his situation. Before we ate we talked to him*, then served John first, then ate. He had a lot of fun joking around with my teammates and making funny faces. He asked me in sign language, why I wasn't eating. I didn't know how to respond, so they explained to him that I am not eating so that he can have a lunch to eat. I could tell he understood and that it meant something to him, he started to tear up but hid it really fast. We talked to him again for John, gave John the left overs, then I walked him to the door. I told him that I loved him. He picked up Luxshmie, put it in his bag and walked away. The rest of the afternoon I spent a couple hours analyzing, processing, and crying. God is breaking my heart for these people more and more each day. But I am beginning to see that there is a light in this darkness, just like there is a smile on John's face and a sweet laugh from his heart. Every time I see a smile on the face of a child or hear the laughter in their voice, I see a glimpse of hope for the people of India. And every time the rain pours down (which is pretty much 50% of the time), I am reminded of the grace that rains down all over the nation.

My Heart is Broken

We have been in India for a little over a week and a half now and are in our second location. Quick update on the acid reflux: have not taken my medicine at all since the last post, had chick-fil-a at the airport (acid reflux was ok, but my stomach kinda flipped out), and I have been eating greasy, spicy, and fried foods everyday....and its been amazing! No pain! I am healed!!
Now about the trip...We started out getting accustomed to the culture. We now have our Indian attire that we wear everyday. It's difficult to fully express ourselves when we have to watch our language and when we talk to our daddy we can not close our eyes as we can in America. The atmosphere is much like Slum Dog Millionaire: children younger than one year old begging, rick-saw rides, buses with flashing lights, crazy music, and huge crowds, beggars of all ages everywhere, poverty every where you look, public squaties (their "toilets") cost money, trash filled streets, at least ten different nauseating smells each block, cows, goats, pigs, and water buffalo's roam the streets. The list goes on, but the worst part about it is the heartbreak that you feel every second for these people.

Last week we went to a train station to board for our 17 hour trip, each carrying about 75 pounds of luggage up two flights of stairs, across the train tracks, and then back down. The whole time men standing all over the place just watching you struggle this fight as sweat runs down your face like a water fall. On the train, I looked out the window just thinking and we passed by slums and towns and people out in the fields plowing with animals. As we passed a few people gathered around a fire on the side of the train tracks that night, I wondered....do they have a place to sleep, a home, or a shack? Why are they there? What are they doing? Do they know someone loves them? All I saw and felt was heartbreak, someone needs to tell them about this hope that I have, this awesome daddy that I know!

When we got to RR on our second day of working, I was put in a classroom of nine, three year olds from the slums and then the teacher left the room. They hardly know English and all I know in Hindi is hello and thank you. I watched them as they colored and could only look at them and think, these innocent girls will someday be sex workers and these sweet boys will someday be just like the men at the train station, heartless and cold, taking advantage of these girls.

Everywhere I go, every street I walk down, every person I see, I feel my heartbreak. I asked my daddy to make my heart break for what breaks his, but I didn't know my heart could break this much. There is so much hopelessness hear, so much pain. India is in desperate need of both hope, restoration, redemption, and love. And there is only one that can provide this for them. I ask him to use me and my team to bring a little bit of that light into this country of darkness. My daddy granted my first request and I trust he will grant my second as well.

Goodbye acid relux....Hello spicy food!

Hey everyone! So we are finishing up training camp and are leaving for the airport in the next hour! We have been together as a team for 4 days now and we have become unbelievably close. We started out traveling by Marta to the Atlanta Safe House and doing ministry on the streets of Atlanta on a Friday night, then bonded by spitting water in each others faces, amazing worship services, team building activities, cold showers outside at night, testimony sharing, and so much more. These past few days have been incredible and so much needed, the Lord has been preparing us and filling us with the Holy Spirit! We all have incredible visions for the women of India and cannot wait to see the Lord work through us to change the hearts of women in India.

During worship on Sunday night we learned and practice hearing God speak to us. It was incredible and incredibly hard. I still have a long way to go with that, but it was an incredible experience. My number one goal for the next two months is to listen to God, respond with obedience, and hold nothing back. I believe if God can teach me obedience, then He will work in unfathomable ways through me to reach the women of India in ways I cannot even imagine. Yesterday morning one of me teammates, Emily, showed a perfect example. During worship she heard God speaking to her saying that I would be healed of my acid reflux that night!!! Those of you who know me, know that is HUGE!!! So last night I laid down on a table and the entire team laid their hands on me as Emily prayed healing over me! We both have complete faith that God has healed me or at least is healing me!! So far I am feeling great, and today at the airport am going to try out some Chick-fil-a fried chicken for the first time in over a year! The faith and love of my team has blown me away and I cannot wait to be broken, loved, encouraged, built up, and grow with these wonderful sisters! The consuming fire of the Lord is among our team and is so ready to set the flames loose in India!

Life before India...

So it's been a while since I wrote on here. During the summer when I don't have much to do and don't have a schedule I become very unproductive. I went to the beach with my family a couple of weeks ago though and got a lot of reading and a lot of thinking done. My parents and I drove from the beach to Disney World to pick my sister up (she works there) and bring her back. On the way back, driving down the road, in the middle of know where, not near any other buildings, I saw this huge, tall building where the outside is all glass windows. As we got closer, I saw that the whole inside was empty and the bottom was finished either. There weren't even any floors or inside walls. It made me think about life and how we all try to make our lives look like everything is going great and perfect, but when people really get close and get to know you, they just find out that you are empty inside. This building was life with out Christ, worthless and empty.

Later on, when were back at the beach my dad and I built these sand castles. My dad built a bunch of little ones and I built one really big one! He kept adding a little bit to each of them, and I kept making mine bigger and better. Then I started thinking about it, no matter how many different things we try to excel in or how great and big we make our lives, they still crumble and fall. As I was building my big sand castle, it kept falling and collapsing and I had to start all over again. I realized that when "I" was building it, it kept crumbing and falling, and the same thing happens with my life. As long as I continue to build my life on sand, I will never reach as high as God has planned for my life. Only when I build my house out of Solid Rock will my house stand strong and reach as high as God has planned for my life. By the end of the day, waves come and knock the sand castle down to where it blends in with the flat ground, if I keep trying to build my life on my own out of sand, I will only continue to crumble and fall, I must allow God to build my house of Christ the Solid Rock in order to stand strong and tall for the life He has planned for me.


The beach trip was great, we had a lot of fun spending time together with all four of us because that doesn't happen to often. Catherine got to come home for a week too which was great! For the past few weeks I have just been catching up with different friends, spending time with family, and a lot of relaxing. With that relaxing I've become lazy with my goal of reading the Bible in one year, so I'm going to start all over today and do it right this time. Last time I wanted to start out writing down questions and new things I discover as I read it, and I didn't start that till later which messed up my schedule, so I'm starting that today. I have been spending a lot of time getting ready for India because I leave in 3 days to meet my team and then after 4 days of training we will be flying out on June 8th to India! I am just continuing to pray for our team unity and for what God will be doing in and through us. I would love for you to pray for me and my team. Pray that I would take full advantage of what God has for me for the next two months and that I don't pass up any opportunity to become more intimate with Christ. Pray that God will break my heart for these women and that I will learn what it truely means to be a women of Christ. Pray that I would be open to learning, growing, and being used as His hands and feet. This is going to be an incredible month...and I have no idea what exactly that means! Thank you!