What waits inside the Gate

Last weekend some of my friends and I took a weekend trip to Mumbai. It started off with us missing our bus to the train station, a 12 hour train ride there, getting there at 4:30 in the morning going to the Gateway of India in the pitchblack, finding out we were standing in front of the Taja Hotel just as it started to pour down rain. With no place to go and nothing to do until 10, we decided to go into the hotel cafe and have a cup of chai, this was not what I was expecting on our weekend trip! After breakfast we joined the Indian laughing club as we passed them on the street and eventually made it to our hotel. We then spent sometime with the Salvation Army and learned a little about what they are doing. There's a whole lot more to tell about about I will stick to just one thing now.

On Sunday we went to a church in one of the slums. It was cute little quaint church with a fence around the outside of it. There are five services every Sunday, each is a different language. So when we got there, there was already another service going on. At the gate, there was a lady on her knees begging. The entire weekend, and alot of the trip, we have had beggars following us down the streets, but something hit me about this particular lady. Just the fact that there was this lady sitting at the gate of this church begging. I started to think...If only she knew what waited for her inside, if only she knew of the riches inside. How many of us are sitting on the outside of the gate begging, to blind to see that the gate is already open and waiting for us to take a step of faith to enter the gate? Why did I not take her by the hand and walk with her inside? Maybe she didn't know she was welcomed, maybe she didn't feel welcomed, maybe she wasn't welcomed? How many people don't know they are welcomed into the body, or don't feel as though they are welcome, or even worse they aren't welcomed? How ofter do I walk by an opportunity to show someone they are welcomed by the body? I am so caught up in my everyday life, that I don't take the time to hold the hands of the beggers and welcome them into the body. How cold hearted am I that I don't share the love of the one who loves them SO much. There are so many people that I walk by everyday that are begging for the answer to a better life, some look to idols, some to jealousy, or selfishness, the list goes on. But they are all the same, they are sitting at the gateway to him with a life they cannot imagine on the other side of the fence. We have to stop just going throught the motions and take every opportunity to welcome them into the life that is waiting for them on the otherside, welcome them into the arms that are open wide on the otheside.

The greatest faith I have ever seen!!

Last week one of my friends and I went into the slums next to one of the preschools where we are working. As we were walking around a lady (we will call here Sue) came out of her house to greet us. There is so much I would love to tell you about Sue and her family, but I just can not even come close to bringing it full justice in a couple paragraphs. So I will just tell you a little bit. She is a believer, but her husband is not and she is not allowed to be a believer, so she does not "believe" in front of him. She reads when she is at work since she is not allowed to at home. Sue has two sons. The older is a believer, but like his mom, to please his their dad, he does not show that he believes in front of their dad. But when their dad leaves the house, they talk to and read about their true dad. The youngest son, who is only seven years old, refuses to act like he is not a believer. While the rest of the family is "Hindu" this little boy refuses to participate in anything that has to do with any gods because they are not his god. One day his family was eating at their aunts house and the food, before it was eaten was in front of idol statues and even though they had not eaten all day, this little boy who was starving refused to eat a bit of food simply because it had been in the presence of gods. He refuses to enter temples. His family (especially his dads side) tries to bribe him to participate in rituals with some of his favorite things, but this little boy does not want any of that. He does not care about the price he has to pay, he refuses to ever bow down to any of their gods. When his dad is yelling at him and is mad at him, this little boy responds by talking to his true dad about the situation. When he talks to his true dad, he gets down on his knees with his hands in the air and his eyes clinched shut. This little boy fears no one, but the one. This little boy will not offer one bit of himself to anyone or anything but his god. This little boy has the faith that I pray for everyday. He is an inspiration to my life and the relationship I have with my father. This little boy has faith that can move the mountains!

Beloved, Be Loved

This week I have not been continuing to give up my lunches that I talked about in my last post, but I have been trying to discover if that is what was wanted and asked of me. It has taken me the entire week to figure out the answer. I have been frustrated and stressed out about this; I am being broken and molded into a new character not of my own but of his. It is beautiful, but more heart wrenching than I anticipated. What I heard in the midst of a thousand voices and directions in my mind was, "beloved, rest and be loved." I have been too busy talking things out in my head, getting frustrated, and wasting time when in all reality, when I think about the way he loves me, I have no time to maintain my regrets. I have been going a hundred miles an hour trying to work things out in my head that I have not been quiet enough to listen to the one voice I need to hear. When I finally slowed down enough to hear, I heard:

All I want to do is love you, all I want to do is to be with you, all I want to do is be your resting place, all I want to do is be your provider, all I want to do is use you the way you want to be used, all I want to do is hold you in my arms and love you, and Alison, my love endures forever. This week have I not shown you that all I want is your love?

This is some of how I was shown his love: Sunday, John accepted a bracelet from us that would show him who he is. Monday, John was actually wearing it. Tuesday, I got to learn and sing silly songs with a room full of giggling little kids from the slums and I also got to have some incredible and encouraging conversations with some teammates. Wednesday, during snack time, four kids from my preschool class came and gave me a handful (about half) of their snacks. It is so hard to accept this from them, I already have so much to eat and they don't. But that is kind of how it is with my dad, I offer him something that is big for me, but so small for him, yet he loves me and is proud of me for even things that are so small. Also, I got to help the cook make dinner at the place we are staying. He told me all about his family and his two daughters that he absolutely adores, which is a small glimpse of the way my dad loves me. I loved cooking with him and can't wait to do it again. It felt like I was spending time with my dad in the way in which he craves everyday. Thursday, I was walking around by the place we are staying and walked along the beach when a lady popped out of her store. We went inside this shack by the beach and she had her baby laying on the ground laughing. I got to hold her and play with her for two hours. As I did this I felt my own dad holding me and making me laugh for two hours. Friday, one of the girls we were teaching English to went to get some of her friends and they drew henna all up and down our arms. This is only a small portion in which I was shown enduring love this week. He does not want me to give up my lunches, but instead he just wants me to be his beloved. In all of these examples of intimacy this week, it is continuously running through my mind that this is only a tiny glimpse of the love he wants to lavish on me, his beloved daughter.